Vodka & Red Bull Christmas Cake

It’s that time of year again when one’s cooking skills are put to the test!

Here’s a fail safe receipe for that seasonal favourite Vodka & Red Bull Christmas Cake

The following ingredients will be required:

1 cup water
1 cup of brown sugar
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of butter
1 tsp salt
Lemon Juice
4 large eggs
Nuts
1 bottle of Vodka
1 can of Red Bull
2 cups dried fruit

To ensure perfect results, follow the method to the letter and without deviation:

• Sample the vodka to check the quality
• Take a large bowl, check the vodka again
• To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and mix with a little red bull and drink
• Repeat
• Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl
• Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again
• At this point it is best to make sure the vodka is still OK
• Flavour with red bull to taste
• Try another cup. Just in case turn off the mixer
• Break two eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit
• Pick fruit off floor
• Mix on the turner
• If the dried fruit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver
• Shample the vodka to check for tonsisticity, flavour with a little Bed Rull
• Next ssiffft two cups of salt. Or something … who giveshz a sh*t
• Throw a pinch of Bed Rull over your shoulder
• Pick up the can, mop the floor
• Check the vodka
• Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts
• Add one table
• Add a shpoon of shugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find
• Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over …
• Don’t forget to beat off the turner
• Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka and kick the dog
• Fall into bed!

CHERRY MISTMAS!!

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