Forget the Election…

Below is some worldly advice to pet owners should they ever risk doubting their local veterinary surgeon…

A concerned animal lover took a very limp duck into her veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a few moments, the vet shook his head and uttered the words “I’m sorry, but your duck Cuddles has sadly passed away.”

The distressed woman wailed “Are you sure?” to which the vet replied “Yes I am sure. Your duck is dead”.

The woman continued to protest saying “How can you be sure? You haven’t done any tests on him. He might just be in a coma or something.”

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. A few minutes later, he returned with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table, and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. The dog then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and led it out of the room. He returned a few minutes later with a cat, which promptly jumped upon the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, miaowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet turned to the woman and said “I’m sorry, but as previously stated, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.” He turned to his computer terminal, and with a few keystrokes, produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “£150!” she cried… “£150 just to tell me that my dear duck is dead!” The vet shrugged “I’m sorry, but if you had simply taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but with the Lab Report and Cat Scan, it’s now £150.”

A possible moral of this story is… if in doubt, say nowt!


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